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Great Moments in GamePro Puns Volume 1
By Cyril Lachel     |   Posted on July 09, 2015   |   Episode 50 (Show Archive)  

And now, Great Moments in GamePro Puns, a short collection of unbearably punny prose by the pros at GamePro magazine. This is presented as a lesson for how not to end a video game review.

Batman Returns (Lynx): "Batman Returns stars your favorite characters true to form. (No, Michelle Pfieffer isn't packed in the box). Despite its somewhat monotonous gameplay, it's still worth Batting around."

Bubsy: Claws Encounters of the Furred Kind (Super NES): "Bubsy is a must for any gamer's library. Hot on the trail of Sonic the Hedgehog (in fact, a Genesis version is due soon), this cat really moves! He may not be as fast as Sonic, but he definitely has a lot more purrrr-sonality."

Chuck Rock (Game Gear): "Chuck Rock's unique concept, whimsical look and innovative gameplay make it extremely enjoyable. Get stoned with Chuck Rock."

Hydra (Lynx): "Don't miss the boat! Hydra showcases the Lynx's superb scaling abilities and extensive color palette. The smooth animation, well-rendered graphics and extremely responsive controls create the stomach-wrenching illusion of slicing through the waters at breakneck speeds. Go ahead, get wet with Hydra."

It Came from the Desert (TurboGrafx-CD): "This game definitely has more than a few bugs in it -- which is great! It Came from the Desert is guaranteed to make you bug-eyed."

The Magical Quest starring Mickey Mouse (Super NES): "With the help of Disney, Capcom has created an irresistible game. The graphics and animation are outstanding. There's enough playability and depth to keep gamers of all skill levels entertained. After defeating the final boss in this game, there's only one thing to say, 'I'm going to Disneyland!'"

Rolling Thunder 2 (Genesis): "Rolling Thunder 2 keeps it simple. Shoot, duck, jump and shoot some more -- it's a tried and true formula that scores again here. Ninja Gaiden, Strider, Shinobi -- you can't keep a good action game down, they just keep rolling along -- like Rolling Thunder 2."

Splatterhouse 2 (Genesis): "If you've ever wanted to seek revenge on all those early childhood closet monsters, now's your chance to do it vicariously through Splatterhouse 2. Good to the last splat."

Super Turrican (Super NES): "If you like your action hot and heavy, Super Turrican delivers. Secret levels and hidden bonuses ensure that the fun never stops. Will you beat the Machine? If you can't, Turri-can!"

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IV - Turtles in Time (Super NES): "No doubt about it, SNES owners everywhere will want to "shell" out the sheckles for this cart."

Well, that was dumb. But if you want to see more videos like the one above, please make sure and subscribe to our fledgling YouTube channel. We're posting reviews, essays, playthroughs and contents every week, and it sure would be nice if you joined the conversation.


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