Usually when you have a word like "last" or "final" in the name it means nothing. Just look at the half dozen Final Fight games or two Last Blade games, and don't even get me started on all of the Final Fantasy sequels and spin-offs. Yet Last Battle is a different story. Despite having some of the best graphics at the system's launch, Last Battle failed to make much of a splash. Perhaps that's because you play a giant wimp who can barely throw a punch. Yes it had great graphics, but it also had sluggish controls, a complete lack of diverse backgrounds and no sense of depth. It also lacked style. Every character you came across looked exactly the same, which meant that you were just doing the same thing over and over. In my experience I have found that the size of the character proportionally affects how good the gameplay is. Last Battle and China Warrior both had enormous characters, yet neither game controlled very well. By contrast, N+ and Super Mario Bros. both had tiny characters and controlled great. Coincidence? I think not!

Now Wait A Minute ... Of all the games on the list, Last Battle may be the only one that could become a worthwhile 3D action game. It's not because it has a unique story or a gimmick that sets it apart. Actually, it's specifically because it doesn't have a unique story or a gimmick that sets it apart. This game is an empty canvas; a developer could do just about anything to it and it wouldn't seem out of the norm. All these other games have specific things about that them set them apart, yet Last Battle is just an action game where you punch stuff. Throw in the fact that nobody even remembers this game and you could easily reboot this series and turn it into whatever you want. Want a crazy over-the-top shooter with the comedy stylings of Dane Cook? You can do that with this game. Want it to be a role-playing game mixed with a GTA-style sandbox game? You can do that, too. That's the brilliance of this game, it can be whatever you want it to be. Which is probably why nobody has bothered to churn out a sequel or remake.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like if furries controlled the world? Of course you haven't, because there are more important things for you to wrap your head around. These days you have to worry about making ends meet or getting a job right out of school, the last thing you want to think about is some guy in a big animal costume taking over the world. But that's exactly what you have in Trevor McFur in the Crescent Galaxy. This is a pathetically slow 2D shooter released exclusively for the Atari Jaguar. Is that because no other system cared about a sluggish shooter starring a bunch of furries? Probably, but we shouldn't let them off the hook for all of the terrible games that were associated with their launches. I can only imagine that if somebody were to try and reboot this franchise it would be a 3D shooter with fully realized furry characters that talked and make jokes. In other words, it would be Star Fox.

Oh Come On ... The reason you're fuming with rage right now is because you know that I'm right. Trevor McFur is nothing more than a more 2D version of Star Fox. Admit it, the Star Fox brand has been heading south since its inception. The reason everybody loved the first game so much is because we had never seen anything like it before on a home console. The Nintendo 64 sequel managed to win over some fans and critics based on the love from the first game, but it was nowhere near as beloved as the original Star Fox. Since then it's been one crummy sequel/spin-off after another. These days nobody cares about Star Fox, it's a D-list Nintendo franchise that gets trotted out towards the end of a system's life. Forget about Trevor McFur, maybe it's actually Star Fox that needs to reboot. I suggest Nintendo go back to the drawing board and make this a darker story full of sci fi action and great space battles. You can keep the talking animals, but I suggest that at least one of them dies in every game. By the end of the trilogy the only person still alive should be Fox McCloud. Don't bother arguing it, you know I'm right.

It shouldn't surprise anybody that this list is made up of a lot of 2D brawlers; after all they were all the rage in the 1980s and 90s. Ninja Combat was the first brawler for SNK's Neo Geo, but that is in no way an excuse for its shoddy craftsmanship. Who cares if it's brand new hardware, it's not like we had never seen a brawler done right before. How hard can it be to make a game where all you do is walk around and hit people? Yet somehow Ninja Combat manages to mess even that up. It's hard to line-up your guy with your opponent, half of the bad guys hide off screen for no reason and you never once feel like you're controlling a ninja. Aren't ninjas supposed to be stealthy? Isn't that why they are wearing that ridiculous outfit? Well that's not the case here, because you basically just walk down the middle of the street punching anybody that gets close. A real ninja wouldn't have to worry about beating up hundreds of street thugs, he would just slither his way to the big boss's hideout and kick his ass. Hell, the guy wouldn't even know what was coming, he would be eating his Cheerios and then next thing he knows he has a sword being shoved through his stomach. That's how a ninja rolls. But not in Ninja Combat. The only thing worse than this would be making the sequel a 2D overhead shooter. Oh wait ... they did that already? Screw it, this series does not need a reboot!

On The Other Hand ... I suppose if I'm going to complain about Ninja Combat not being very, well, ninja-y then I should also complain about Ninja Gaiden. Yet I love Ninja Gaiden, both the new and old Ninja Gaiden. I also love Shinobi, and he's not exactly sneaking around or anything. In fact, the only ninja games I can think of that embody what a real ninja is would be the long-running Tenchu series, and those games have become boring and stale. So there goes my entire complaint against Ninja Combat. Well shoot. I guess I'll just have to settle for hating it because it's a bad game.

Based on the long-running (albeit terrible) board game, Mouse Trap is an equally bad arcade game that just so happened to be a launch title for the ColecoVision. If you were to look at the screenshots you might think that this is nothing more than a bad rip-off of Pac-Mac. And you would be right, because that's exactly what this game is. Oh sure, there are a few differences. Instead of collecting dots, you collect cheese. Instead of ghosts, now you run from cats. Instead of good simple fun, you get an overly complicated mess of a game that nobody should go back and try and figure out. Worst of all, this game barely resembles the board game. And did I mention that this ColecoVision port is even worse than the original arcade title? It's true. The graphics are bad, the controls are sluggish and there isn't as much variety. In other words, the whole game is a complete mess. And considering that the board game isn't even popular anymore, there's really no reason for somebody to go back and reboot this failed franchise. Mouse Trap sounds like it should be an exciting game, but it's only slightly more fun than playing Old Maid with your creepy uncle.

Now Wait A Minute ... I love board games, I really do. But just because you're board game has sold millions of units, that doesn't mean that you need to infect the video game industry to your awful ideas. It's not just Mouse Trap that shouldn't have been turned into a game; I'm also against any attempt to port Candy Land or The Game of Life. There I said it; I'm officially on record suggesting that Candy Land can get lost. And you know what else? I also hate Chutes & Ladders. So what are you going to do about that Milton Bradley? And don't even get me started on Twister. Look, I love board games, but as far as I'm concerned board games should stay in a cardboard box just waiting for you to have friends over.

No! Why don't you make your own crummy video? Isn't that what you're paying people to do? Believe it or not, this Sega CD launch title was actually part of a series that included everybody from Kriss Kross to C + C Music Factory to INXS. It's a virtual who's who of band s nobody has cared about in a decade. And although it's probably bad taste, I have my suspicion that this poorly assembled Sega CD game may just have been the last straw for INXS singer Michael Hutchence (who would later hang himself). But the real problem with the Make My Video series was that you weren't really making a brand new video at all. In fact, the songs featured on the disc already had videos made for them. It was your job to take those videos (complete with weird outtake footage) and mix them with stock footage that makes no sense to the video. For example, in one frame you could be watching the C + C Music Factory dancers getting their groove thing on, while in the next frame you're watching a car explode or a monkey washing a cat. It was all so random. And try as you might, there really was no good way of fitting these videos together. But should that surprise you? It's not like Kriss Kross was known for their high art music videos. At best these were videos of stupid looking people dancing to stupid music. And what did you get when you finally put these videos together? Well, you could save your work and show it to all your friends. Sound like fun? Well it wasn't, not for you or your friends.

Such As ... Yes this idea is stupid and the games were terrible, but it's somewhat shocking that nobody has attempted to bring this "technology" into the 21st century. I doubt this would work with bands like Radiohead or Coldplay, but I can imagine this being extremely popular with the Disney music set. They've slapped Hannah Montana's face on everything else, why not give the kids the ability to make their own videos? These tweeners couldn't do a worse job at making videos, so why not let them have a stab at it? And we don't have to stop with Hannah Montana, why not have one for the Jonas Brothers or the Naked Brothers Band? Wait ... there's a kids group called the Naked Brothers Band?