Fear & Loathing at E3 (2003)


Day Three: What Have I Become?

Oh sure she looks happy now, but start talking about the difference between USB 1.1 and 2.0 and you're going to be in a world of hurt!
By day three you have had a chance to play just about every game you've come to see, talk to everybody you've wanted to talk to, and have done everything you you've wanted to do. You could probably go home today, but that would be silly, since there are so many games to revisit.

A few games weren't in real prominent spots, like the new Star Fox game. Day three is built specifically for people to go back and see these forgotten games, or allow you to simply reconfirm your love for whatever game you felt was best in show. Day three may be short, but it's important, no question about it.


Day three is good for checking out the memorabilia!
Most people have their opinions formed by day three, though. So it's important to go back and see if you're first (or even second) thoughts were right. And better yet, to make sure you aren't talking about things you haven't fully explored. There's nothing worse than to come back and sound like you haven't played a game you really have.

All this brings us to our eighth rule; one that I think just about everybody could live by. Something that probably should have been added earlier in this article. Something that actually may just sound like common sense ...

Rule Eight: Have a Plan!

By day three you'll find that E3 has taken a lot of damage!
By day three, I bet you money there are at least five games you have completely forgotten about, but still want to see. You'd feel pretty stupid if in three days you didn't have a chance to check it out, right? You'd feel like the money you spent to get yourself down to L.A. would be all for not. That's why you need a plan!

In day one you should have played the titles you REALLY wanted to play. In day two you should have sat in line, or checked out the busy games that you wanted to see. And by day three, you should have a list of games you haven't played yet, areas you haven't been to, and questions you still need answered.

By simply reading some of the magazines you picked up on day one and two, you will be reminded of a number of games you were really looking forward to playing. Games like Super Mario Brothers 3: Super Mario Advance 4, which was on the show floors, but like Mario + Luigi, tucked in an area that was both hard to get to, and not fun to stand in.

Or Viewtiful Joe, a wacky little cel-shaded action game by Capcom for the GameCube. It looked amazing, had pretty good control, and always seemed to be busy. But because of all the other BIG titles, it was easy to completely forget about Joe. In fact, I found myself stuck in Capcom's booth much of day three because I had completely forgotten about them in the first couple of days.


Don't forget to visit the ESBR booth ... Somebody has to!
Day three is also a great time to search out titles that were downsized to having only one display. Worms 3D, the polygonal sequel to the extremely addictive European franchise, Worms, appeared only on one screen, even though it was looking and played great and was on all the major platforms.

At first I worried that Worms 3D wasn't going to work, and perhaps that's why Sega (who is planning on publishing it in the Fall) opted to put the game in the corner on one monitor. But as I started to experience the game, I found that it was just as much fun as the original Worms, and added an all-new element to the game.

But not every small display was as rewarding. As I wondered through E3 on the final day, I found

Just like the Oscars, Eminem didn't show up to E3 ... but his game did!
myself stumbling onto things that perhaps shouldn't have been unearthed. Like the new Eminem game, which reminded me of those old Sega CD games Make Your Own Music Video. This budget title for the PC and original PlayStation, allows you to, well, in not so many words, make your own Eminem videos.

Lest I remind everybody, the four bands who did those Sega CD Music Video games ten years ago were: Marky Mark & the Funky Bunch, C+C Music Factory, INXS, and Kriss Kross. I'm not going to imply anything about Eminem's career, but just look where a Make Your Own Music Video game took those bands.

Day three is a perfect time to check out a few of those games that you wanted to play, but were afraid to be around. In the case of Backyard Wrestling, I wanted to see what the creators of Thrill Kill had in store for us, but every time I got around the booth (which was shaped as huge wrestling ring), there would be some sort of "wrestling" (and I use that in the loosest possible sense) event going on sucking the

What this costumed guy does know is that he's about to be pushed over, as if was a cow tipping or something!
crowd in. By day three there isn't all that commotion going on at the booth, and you are safe to play your savage wrestling game in peace and quiet.

Over the first two days of the event, Midway brought DJ's and various bands to the stage to play music that would later appear in upcoming games. This would have been a great idea; if it didn't clog up the booth so much people couldn't actually play the games. Day three, though, the Midway booth was quiet, and I was able to check out games like ESPionage, Spy Hunter 2, and NFL Blitz Pro.

I'm not complaining about the music or anything, in fact, I wish more booths would offer things like bands and celebrities. I had never heard of the band Cold before, and wasn't a huge fane of Vanessa Carlton, but they sounded good, and did a much better job than the bands in the past that have insulted us gamers. Everything being equal, this is a pretty good idea, and I'm hoping that more booths will adopt this idea in the future.

There can be many complications that arise to mess up your well thought out plan, though. You may just have to settle for not seeing all the displays you intended to, or maybe that you won't see the demo of Half-Life 2 or Halo 2 because of the line. Some things just cannot be avoided. But there are roadblocks that you can do something about, and it's all about knowing where to see them, and what to do about them. This brings us right to our ninth rule ...
Rule Nine: Know Your Enemy

Characters like this six foot ape tend to block the path to the good games!
By day three, I bet you money there are at least five games you have completely forgotten about, but still want to see. You'd feel pretty stupid if in three days you didn't have a chance to check it out, right? You'd feel like the money you spent to get yourself down to L.A. would be all for not. That's why you need a plan!

In day one you should have played the titles you REALLY wanted to play. In day two you should have sat in line, or checked out the busy games that you wanted to see. And by day three, you should have a list of games you haven't played yet, areas you haven't been to, and questions you still need answered.

By simply reading some of the magazines you picked up on day one and two, you will be reminded of a number of games you were really looking forward to playing. Games like Super Mario Brothers 3: Super Mario Advance 4, which was on the show floors, but like Mario + Luigi, tucked in an area that was both hard to get to, and not fun to stand in.

Or Viewtiful Joe, a wacky little cel-shaded action game by Capcom for the GameCube. It looked amazing, had pretty good control, and always seemed to be busy. But because of all the other BIG titles, it was easy to completely forget about Joe. In fact, I found myself stuck in Capcom's booth much of day three because I had completely forgotten about them in the first couple of days.


So let me get this right ... you can't smoke indoors, but giving a kid an automatic weapon is okay?
Day three is also a great time to search out titles that were downsized to having only one display. Worms 3D, the polygonal sequel to the extremely addictive European franchise, Worms, appeared only on one screen, even though it was looking and played great and was on all the major platforms.

At first I worried that Worms 3D wasn't going to work, and perhaps that's why Sega (who is planning on publishing it in the Fall) opted to put the game in the corner on one monitor. But as I started to experience the game, I found that it was just as much fun as the original Worms, and added an all-new element to the game.

But not every small display was as rewarding. As I wondered through E3 on the final day, I found

Even though E3 was closed off to kids, the Harry Potter booth managed to attract a number of youths!
myself stumbling onto things that perhaps shouldn't have been unearthed. Like the new Eminem game, which reminded me of those old Sega CD games Make Your Own Music Video. This budget title for the PC and original PlayStation, allows you to, well, in not so many words, make your own Eminem videos.

Lest I remind everybody, the four bands who did those Sega CD Music Video games ten years ago were: Marky Mark & the Funky Bunch, C+C Music Factory, INXS, and Kriss Kross. I'm not going to imply anything about Eminem's career, but just look where a Make Your Own Music Video game took those bands.

Day three is a perfect time to check out a few of those games that you wanted to play, but were afraid to be around. In the case of Backyard Wrestling, I wanted to see what the creators of Thrill Kill had in store for us, but every time I got around the booth (which was shaped as huge wrestling ring), there would be some sort of "wrestling" (and I use that in the loosest possible sense) event going on sucking the crowd in. By day three there isn't all that commotion going on at the booth, and you are safe to play your savage wrestling game in peace and quiet.


Hiding around the G4 is one of your last resorts if you want to be on TV. Even if it's just G4!
Over the first two days of the event, Midway brought DJ's and various bands to the stage to play music that would later appear in upcoming games. This would have been a great idea; if it didn't clog up the booth so much people couldn't actually play the games. Day three, though, the Midway booth was quiet, and I was able to check out games like ESPionage, Spy Hunter 2, and NFL Blitz Pro.

I'm not complaining about the music or anything, in fact, I wish more booths would offer things like bands and celebrities. I had never heard of the band Cold before, and wasn't a huge fane of Vanessa Carlton, but they sounded good, and did a much better job than the bands in the past that have insulted us gamers. Everything being equal, this is a pretty good idea, and I'm hoping that more booths will adopt this idea in the future.

There can be many complications that arise to mess up your well thought out plan, though. You may just have to settle for not seeing all the displays you intended to, or maybe that you won't see the demo of Half-Life 2 or Halo 2 because of the line. Some things just cannot be avoided. But there are roadblocks that you can do something about, and it's all about knowing where to see them, and what to do about them. This brings us right to our ninth rule ...

Rule Ten: Don't Forget to visit the Lost Hall!

In the lost hall there are areas that seem to have no direction, dancing midgets, and unicorns. It's a magical place where few speak English!
You have a lot of things on your mind, a lot of games to play, and a lot of reporting to do. That's just the business of E3, plain and simple. There's probably no way you will ever see or play everything this expo has to offer, but at least you can try!

There are a few things that most people forget, or just don't seem to care about, that probably should be included if you're going to get the "full" E3 experience. Things that may not have a lot to do with games, per se, but will warrant the investigation, if only so you will have stories to tell to your friends back home.


Though it's a little blurry, this man is trying out what can only be described as an updated version of Sega's Activator!
One of the first places you will want to find is the tucked away, and very hidden "lost hall", or as it's really known, the Kentia Hall. You see, most E3 goers tend to find themselves stuck in the South Hall (with Microsoft, Capcom, and Konami) or the West Hall (with Nintendo, Sony, and Sega), rarely venturing off the beaten path. But if you were to look around, you'd find another hall, the Kentia Hall, filled with a very strange assortment of booths.

Generally speaking, this area is where the international companies are located, but there's much more than that there. It's also where the "strange" inventions go (though Sony and Microsoft seemed to do a good job themselves in this department), or the magazines that don't exactly fit in go. You'll even find small booths set up for companies that just couldn't afford much more than what they brought, and are hoping this E3 is their stepping stone for bigger and better things. This hall isn't the most exciting, and you won't snag a whole lot of cool mementos, but it's worth seeing just to contrast it with the other halls.

There are also the booth babes. In a sad, yet comical sense, these women are as important to E3 as spinach is to a Happy Meal. Yet, every single year people look forward to strolling by a girl in nothing more

Amazingly these women aren't busy on day three!
than her panties and a tight shirt. In fact, they don't just look forward to it, they save enough film or memory so they can make collections for their websites.

But many of these women don't even know where they are; let alone what they are talking about. It's almost as if they were kept in a holding cage with nothing but super mellow Michael Bolton anthems to keep them busy. I got the feeling while talking to a few especially attractive ladies that they barely had a grasp on what year it was.

But there was one quote I heard from the booth babes more than any other. In fact, I started searching them out with the intention of testing their knowledge of game systems. Nothing harsh, I simply asked what "console" the game they were pitching was on. And more than fifty percent of the time they said one of two phrases:

"Xcube" and "GameBox".

It's probably worth noting that many of them actually got the PlayStation 2

That's one nasty sunburn you have there, sure you don't want something for it?
right ... even if they had a tendency to say "Nintendo PlayStation 2" or "Microsoft PlayStation 2".

But it's not really an issue of getting rid of the booth babes. While everybody knows they are completely useless to the show, they do add an Easter egg hunt-like atmosphere to the festivities, which gives us just one more thing to do in the fleeting hours of E3.

One should also make sure they have collected every cool freebee they can find. The true testament to E3 isn't really how good the games are, but whether or not the booth gave out a cool item. Capcom was handing out Resident Evil Online (errr, Outbreak, man, I'm never going to get that straight) pins that flashed bright lights. Gotham Games had a stress releasing ball that looks an awful lot like a bomb (complete with rope coming from the top to make a fuse). Sony had their usual bag of goodies, which included a playable demo of Jak II, a SOCOM II dog tag, and a product guide so old, it might as well been handed out at last year's E3.

Among the coolest items I would find, though, would be the Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Postcard book. It seems like such a simple thing, but for months the Kent Paul postcards were the only pictures Rockstar had slipped out. This postcard book is a great homage to a unique style of advertising, and really is one of those little things I'll treasure for years to come.


Don't feel foolish taking pictures of the babes ... if they have fake hair, they want your attention!
There is so much stuff to grab; is it any wonder you brought a second suitcase? You'll need all that extra room to pack those free magazines, pens, cards, bags, discs, books, and other goodies away. It's a sorting job like no other, and one that will likely take you several weeks to fully get everything the way you want it. This E3, it can be a real messy proposition.

If you've seen all the booth babes, visited every game you've wanted to play, watched the demos of the unplayable games, and asked all the questions you needed to ask, then it's time to find the exit, and get your butt back to the motel. There you will find a nice place to relax, eat your final dinner, and get ready for the exciting trip back to home.

This can actually be a really depressing time for some people. After all, you've spent the last three days of your life giving everything you have to the idea that video games are something worth knowing about. The anxiety builds as you worry about whether you actually played every game, or if you missed something that you will eventually read about in a magazine (or online). The doubts run through your head, but that's nothing alcohol can't settle.

Once passed out, you will have nothing but good memories of your time at the biggest video game convention in the United States. Of course, when you wake up, you won't really care about that, the alcohol from the night before will be catching up with you. No matter, it's time to get packed and jet off to wherever the hell it is you came from.

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /home4/defunctg/public_html/shows.php:1) in Unknown on line 0