Plumbers Don't Wear Ties

I might as well admit it; I fell for it, hook, line and sinker. Seemingly, the only trustworthy plumbers in the gaming world are Mario and Luigi.

It's hard to determine where Plumbers Don't Wear Ties is at its most horrendous. Is it in the pathetic music department? The graphics (or its lack thereof)? The awful gameplay?

The mechanics of the game mimic those of Dragon's Lair. Just barely. Plumbers Don't Wear Ties is a horrible series of silly still pictures of a sexy girl, Jane, whom you have to follow around in Los Angeles. This is not a game, but a fraud practiced upon 3DO gamers.

Males bought into this scheme because the game apparently came with a "nudity censor", which, while turned off, seemingly allowed you to see some of Jane's skin. Yet, predictably, the most you can see is the plumber's behind and "part" of Jane's nipple.

Here are the choices which make you "win" this low brow RPG game: He makes a first move! (duh) He plans a vigorous assault later on! (How exciting) The hairball takes advantage of the situation!! (Getting interesting) Our heroine declines the disgusting proposal! (darn it) John heroically dashes off to save Jane!! (Obvious choice) Jane rejects the power. (Huh?) I want the Hollywood ending!! (You mean the lame ending)

All in all, the game cannot even be considered a game and is more a rarity from the early next generation game days than anything else. For every sucker born every minute there is a Plumber's Don't Wear Ties wating for them!