Alex Kidd: High Tech World

When I agreed to take part in Review A Bad Game Day, I knew exactly what bad game to tackle. There are many horrible titles out there, but only one of them is the worst of all time. Today's truly terrible review is actually worse than Myst, more mind-numbing than Duke Nukem Forever and, yes, even more ill-conceived than Mortal Kombat Advance. The worst game of all time is none other than Alex Kidd: High Tech World.

Contrary to popular belief, this was not originally an Alex Kidd game. Much like America's Super Mario Bros. 2, High Tech World didn't start out as a mascot game. Instead it is based on Anmitsu Hime, which in turn was based on a popular manga series of the same name. Understandably, Sega chose to localize the game and turn it into yet another one of Alex Kidd's wild adventures. But don't be fooled, because this adventure is not worth going on.


The name implies that your journey takes places in a magical world full of amazing technology from the distant future. Some might even call it "high tech." Unfortunately, this isn't the world Alex Kidd: High Tech World takes place. You see, that's an entirely different game, one called Alex Kidd IN High Tech World. A subtle difference, but an important one nonetheless. In this game, Alex Kidd spends all of his time traveling to this amazing futuristic arcade.

Actually, even that's not true; very little of the game takes place outside. As far as I can tell, High Tech World is only a few blocks away, easily within walking distance. But before you can go to the Sega arcade of your dreams, you'll first have to take a bunch of school tests and solve a series of riddles. And you have to do this all before the arcade closes at 5 pm sharp, so you better hustle!


In a lot of ways, the early part of the game is nothing more than a graphic adventure. You go from one floor of this building to another talking to people, picking up items, answering questions and collecting ticket pieces. The idea is to piece together eight parts of the ticket, giving Alex access to High Tech World. The rub is that you might not have enough time to have fun when you get there. It would suck to be in this boring old building all day when you could be out there playing Super Hang On and Altered Beast.

Up until this point I've made a strong argument for why Alex Kidd: High Tech World is a crummy game. However, nothing about it so far has suggested that it's the worst game of all time. Yes, the game spends much of its time forcing players to collect tickets and take tests instead of having real fun. Also, it's certainly true that this game would have been infinitely more fun had it taken place in High Tech World And I suppose one could level the charge that this game has you doing nothing but busywork. But even if you subscribe to everything I just listed, that still wouldn't make it the worst game of all time.

As it turns out, Alex Kidd: High Tech World has an ace up its sleeve. Just when you think you've completed all of the busywork and can finally enjoy Sega's arcade wonderland, the game throws a wrench in your plans. More specifically, the game throws religion in your face. Instead of just letting you pass, the gatekeeper requires Alex to pray one hundred times. Yes, you read that correctly, this Sega platformer inexplicably forces you to take a very long prayer break. Wait ... WHAT?


Thankfully the game's religion isn't fully fleshed out, but the very notion that we have to pray one hundred times (and not one extra) suggests that the developers ran out of ideas. Even if you give them all the credit in the world and believe that they couldn't end the game without some sort of big challenging, forcing gamers to spend a lengthy amount of time praying is certainly not the right answer. It's a baffling way to end an already horrible game.

This isn't the first time I've talked about Alex Kidd: High Tech World. Heck, this isn't even the best article I've written about Alex Kidd: High Tech World. But this Sega product is so offensively bad that it deserves to be brought up more than once. The only way this could have possibly been worse is if it crashed half way through and blew up your Sega Master System. On second thought, I'll take a broken Master System over praying exactly one hundred times.