defunct games > guerrilla scrapbook > eternal champions: the movie

Episode 3: Eternal Champions: the Movie
Archive: Guerrilla Scrapbook
So this section isn't always dedicated to video games, this time it's all about the newest movie on the block, the Eternal Champions movie! It's been six years since the last Eternal Champions outting, and even though Sega has promised sequels, there has been nothing to show. Perhaps Sega is looking for the right time to release the movie. Here's our idea of who should be cast in ETERNAL CHAMPIONS THE MOVIE!! See if you agree. -Cyril

Shadow - Katie Holmes
Put a mask on her, and she’s ready for the part.
Who better to play a ninja assassin that is also
extremely sexy? Do you think she knows ninjitsu?
Larcen - Harrison Ford
He’s been everything from a adventure seeker
to the president,so why not be a private
investigator in the 1920’s? He could
reprise his role in Blade Runner.
R.A.X. - Russel Crowe
Hot off of winning the Oscar for playing a
Roman Gladiator, Russell Crowe should be
up for a half android half human warrior! Similar
role, expect now with the experience of breaking
up a marriage, Russell Crowe is indeed the perfect
choice for this role.
Slash - Mankind
If there was a role written for Mankind, the on again,
off again WWF wrestler, Slash is the one! He’s not
very tall, and he doesn’t have to look very good. The
body type is similar enough, and really, the role is ideal
for his acting ability!
Trident - Jim Carey
Proving that he can withstand hours of make up for
a bad movie, Jim Carey shouldn’t have a problem
with Trident! He won’t be able to do his shtick,
but with a tempered additude, Jim Carey could be
a general bad ass fighting fish!
Midnight - Tom Cruise
He would have to slim down a little bit, but after his
break up with Nicole Kidman, Tom Cruise could
easily reprise his roll as a vampire. I can’t wait
see the computer effect with the skeleton hand.
Blade - Lavar Burton
What has Lavar been up to anyway? More Reading
Rainbow? Waiting for another Star Trek movie?
Regardless, this character was drawn for him. An
altered Starfleet Academy uniform, and modified
glasses, and it’s Jordy LaForge with a bad ass
additude!
Ramses - Willem Defoe
Stick a long goatee and don his fake teeth from
Wild at Heart, and you have Willem Defoe has
the skinny fighting force, Ramses. He’s been skinny
(the Last Temptation of Christ), he’s been a bad ass
(Wild At Heart), he’s even had long ears (Shadows
of the Vampire). Willem Defoe is one evil mother.
Chin Wo - Jet Li
Jet Li doesn’t even need make up for the roll of his life.
Chin Wo is a fighting force to be reckoned with, he’s
like the old movies with Bruce Lee meets the additude
of Jackie Chan. Forget the Matrix 2, Jet Li really needs
to work on Eternal Champions.
Raven - Halle Berry
She was one heck of a super hero in the X Men, and
can no doubt work her spell as a magician with a heart
of evil. In a first, Eternal Champions may be the movie
she wears the most clothes in.
Senator - Bob Dole
He’s not doing anything except fanaticizing
about Britney Spears while taking Viagra and
downing it with Pepsi! Plus, he has experience
playing a hypocritical, money grubbing political
puppet … in fact, this roll might as well have
been programmed with him in mind!
Blast - Jessie Ventura
As the Governor, an ex wrestler, and a spokesman
for the XFL, Jesse “the Versatile” Ventura is set for
the roll as a drill sergeant. With some facial hair, Jesse
Ventura barely has to act at all … but anybody who has
seen Abarax knows that’s not asking too much.
Dawson - Clint Eastwood
He’s played the roll of a cowboy, writer, and
director … so why Clint Eastwood for the hard
ass, yet superstitious, Dawson. McShane Clint’s in
something of a rut right now as it is. Space
Cowboys? Nah, give me the real this!




	Shadow - Katie Holmes Put a mask on her, and she’s ready for the part. Who better to play a ninja assassin that is also extremely sexy? Do you think she knows ninjitsu?
	Larcen - Harrison Ford He’s been everything from a adventure seeker to the president,so why not be a private investigator in the 1920’s? He could reprise his role in Blade Runner.
	R.A.X. - Russel Crowe Hot off of winning the Oscar for playing a Roman Gladiator, Russell Crowe should be up for a half android half human warrior! Similar role, expect now with the experience of breaking up a marriage, Russell Crowe is indeed the perfect choice for this role.
	Slash - Mankind If there was a role written for Mankind, the on again, off again WWF wrestler, Slash is the one! He’s not very tall, and he doesn’t have to look very good. The body type is similar enough, and really, the role is ideal for his acting ability!
	Trident - Jim Carey Proving that he can withstand hours of make up for a bad movie, Jim Carey shouldn’t have a problem with Trident! He won’t be able to do his shtick, but with a tempered additude, Jim Carey could be a general bad ass fighting fish!
	Midnight - Tom Cruise He would have to slim down a little bit, but after his break up with Nicole Kidman, Tom Cruise could easily reprise his roll as a vampire. I can’t wait see the computer effect with the skeleton hand.
	Blade - Lavar Burton What has Lavar been up to anyway? More Reading Rainbow? Waiting for another Star Trek movie? Regardless, this character was drawn for him. An altered Starfleet Academy uniform, and modified glasses, and it’s Jordy LaForge with a bad ass additude!
	Ramses - Willem Defoe Stick a long goatee and don his fake teeth from Wild at Heart, and you have Willem Defoe has the skinny fighting force, Ramses. He’s been skinny (the Last Temptation of Christ), he’s been a bad ass (Wild At Heart), he’s even had long ears (Shadows of the Vampire). Willem Defoe is one evil mother.
	Chin Wo - Jet Li Jet Li doesn’t even need make up for the roll of his life. Chin Wo is a fighting force to be reckoned with, he’s like the old movies with Bruce Lee meets the additude of Jackie Chan. Forget the Matrix 2, Jet Li really needs to work on Eternal Champions.
	Raven - Halle Berry She was one heck of a super hero in the X Men, and can no doubt work her spell as a magician with a heart of evil. In a first, Eternal Champions may be the movie she wears the most clothes in.
	Senator - Bob Dole He’s not doing anything except fanaticizing about Britney Spears while taking Viagra and downing it with Pepsi! Plus, he has experience playing a hypocritical, money grubbing political puppet … in fact, this roll might as well have been programmed with him in mind!
	Blast - Jessie Ventura As the Governor, an ex wrestler, and a spokesman for the XFL, Jesse “the Versatile” Ventura is set for the roll as a drill sergeant. With some facial hair, Jesse Ventura barely has to act at all … but anybody who has seen Abarax knows that’s not asking too much.
	Dawson - Clint Eastwood He’s played the roll of a cowboy, writer, and director … so why Clint Eastwood for the hard ass, yet superstitious, Dawson. McShane Clint’s in something of a rut right now as it is. Space Cowboys? Nah, give me the real this!