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Blamdown: Udder Fury (Early Access)
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Blamdown: Udder Fury (Early Access) Blamdown: Udder Fury (Early Access) Blamdown: Udder Fury (Early Access) Blamdown: Udder Fury (Early Access)
This is Blamdown: Udder Fury. It's a brand new dual-stick shooter from the makers of Medusa's Labyrinth and Magnetic: Cage Closed. You play a gun-toting cow who takes revenge on the farmers of America. I know you have a lot of questions about this Steam Early Access shoot-em-up, so let's crib this.


Cows know how to fire guns? I know this isn't going to make much sense, but the answer is yes. You play a love-sick cow named Moonalisa who vows revenge after her soul mate, Rosa, is brutally slaughtered by a hungry farmer. Moonalisa is so upset that she somehow grows a pair of hands, learns how to stand on her hind legs and grabs the nearest machine gun. This sets up a cross-country journey where our hero destroys cities and makes the farmers of America suffer for what they have done.

Look, I'm not saying the setup makes any sense. Hell, even after I beat the game, I was still a little fuzzy on how Moonalisa sprouted a pair of hands. Even as video game logic goes, that's a new one on me. I'm also confused why our gun-toting cow towers above the cars and tanks coming after her. In fact, she's taller than many of the buildings she spends most of the game blowing up. I know it's being sold as a dual-stick shooter, but there's an argument to be made that this is closer to Rampage or King of the Monsters.

Is there a reason to destroy the buildings? Shooting up houses, businesses and skyscrapers is the best way to earn high scores. Of course, destroying an entire city block is also a good way to get the army after you. Each level is designed with several missions to complete, which have you taking out certain types of enemies or busting up specific buildings. The wanton destruction is mostly just for points and fun, which is a little disappointing. I was hoping for a better reason to bring down the buildings, but it never came. It also ceases to be satisfying after you realize that the destruction isn't very impressive and all of the buildings look the same.

Is this game just one big cow pun? Yeah, it kind of is. The developers started with a cheesy premise and threw in as many cow jokes as they could think of. There isn't a whole lot of restraint here, as you might expect from a game called Blamdown: Udder Fury. But if you can get beyond the silly puns, you'll find a compelling shoot-em-up that sends Moonalisa on a cross-country trip to shoot up every state. Sadly, she only manages to make it to a half dozen states in this Early Access build, but I'm holding out hope that she'll eventually find her way up to the Pacific Northwest.

Conclusion: Although it's currently in Steam Early Access, Blamdown: Udder Fury does feel like a complete game. It's loaded with cinemas and even has an ending, complete with credits. This makes me wonder how much more the developers intend to add. I will be disappointed if Moonalisa's travels only take her to six states. I'm also hopeful that the gameplay will be tightened up a bit before release, perhaps giving us more weapons to choose from. But even with some issues and a short campaign, I think this is worth the $4.99 asking price. Just be prepared for a lot of cringe-worthy cow jokes.

Hey, thanks for watching our preview. As the summer begins to wind down, I find myself spending a lot of time setting up features that will happen in the next few months. I'm going to be posting a video looking at our upcoming month-long holiday special, as well as an update about The Adventures of GamePro motion comic. Oh, and I'm still reviewing games. I have a whole stack I need to get through, so make sure and click that subscribe button and support what we're doing here. Until then.
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