Defunct Games
Nintendo Power Uncovered
Nintendo Power #14: July/August 1990 - Rescue Rangers
By Cyril Lachel   |   Posted on November 15, 2012   |   Episode 14 (Show Archive)
After nearly three hundred issues, Nintendo Power is finally coming to an end. To send this long-running periodical off in style, the Cover Critic has decided to review every single issue. Join him as he experiences every aspect of Nintendo's journey through their magazine covers.

Fourteen issues in, Nintendo Power has been wildly inconsistent when it comes to cover designs based on licensed cartoons. We all saw how terrible the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Batman covers turned out. On the other hand, Nintendo managed to come up with a unique take on Duck Tales. The latter success gave me hope that Nintendo Power's follow-up design would be just as good. Boy was I in for a Fat Cat-sized letdown.

The original Duck Tales cover figured out a clever way to incorporate Disney's artwork with real world props. The result may not have been magical, but at least it was interesting. Here we're only given Disney art, which means that the artists at Nintendo Power were given a month to recuperate. Hopefully they took the time to go on a month-long drug binge, one featuring a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers and laughers. That way they'll come back full of crazy ideas that will put Tetris to shame.

To Nintendo Power's credit, they did add a new background for Chip and Dale to interact with. Here we see a library full of books, complete with a desk light and a window to the outside world. Once the library was in place, the designer was forced to use the generic action shots provided by Disney. The result is this baffling cover, featuring the two chipmunks sticking dangerously close to the hot lamp. Make no mistake about it; those lights will burn your hand. I can only imagine the horror of seeing these two lovable furry characters burst into a ball of fire. That's a smell you'll never be able to shake.

Looking past the lifetime of pain and misery, you'll see Fat Cat in the window. You can almost see him licking his lips as he waits for the light to bake these two rodents to delicious perfection. But wait a second, how is he able to reach right through the window like that? There's no sign that he smashed through the glass, and neither Chip nor Dale seem especially concerned about being nabbed by their arch nemesis. Are we to believe that the owner of this library accidentally left the glass part out of the window? Is the wood frame only there to give off the illusion of a glass window? Now that's a mystery I would like the Rangers to rescue!

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