Can you survive An Unholy Return: The 31 Games of Halloween?
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On Running Feuds
Sex, Lies, and Video Games
By Cyril Lachel     |   Posted on September 12, 2005   |   Episode 76 (Show Archive)  

   
When Playboy Magazine first announced they were going to feature a "Girls of Gaming" pictorial we all laughed it off as nothing more than a publicity stunt, something that would be forgotten faster than Jenny McCarthy's acting career. Ever since the days of Lara Croft and Tomb Raider game players have wondered just what's hiding under the tight tops, what kind of personal grooming takes place, and whether or not she had any embarrassing tattoos we should know about. Game players are just curious (and horny), and it made a lot of sense for Playboy to capitalize on the trend.

But here we are a year later and Playboy is planning on running another pictorial, this time with a new batch of video game vixens in nothing but their birthday suit. But not everybody is up for celebrating somebody who doesn't even have a real birthday to suit up for, I for one find this idea of ogling a 100% fake (recreated) women a little on the creepy side.

Some might say that I'm being a little too critical, after all the women that appear in Playboy are often surgically enhanced and airbrushed to the point of perfection -- what's the difference between Lara Croft's fake breasts compared to Pamela Anderson's fake breasts? To the readers (or, probably more appropriately, the viewers) of Playboy the pictures are nothing more than a fantasy, an ideal look for something billions of men are attracted to. But don't let them fool

Just count your blessings that nobody came up with a Barb Wire video game!
you; there really is a difference between the naked "body" of a chick from Dead or Alive and the very much living and breathing Pamela Anderson.

Chances are you'll never meet (or have relations) with these girls in the pages of Playboy, but at least there's the possibility of that (no matter how slim). Unless you're stalking cosplay fans these vixens (which is a whole other Playboy spread waiting to happen), there's no way you'll ever be able to meet, talk to, or have any kind of connection with the video game girls featured in Playboy. Not only that, but how lame are you that you chose to unload your car to a picture of somebody fake rather than a real life girl. You would hope that by the age of 18 most men would have moved away from cartoon girls and started fantasizing about the real thing (with girls that weren't created by horny men working 20 hour days).

Another problem is that this creepy fetish is not sticking with other types of fake-girls. You don't see Playboy devoting their pages to the girls of anime, the babes of Disney, or the hotties of Saturday morning cartoons; nope, this is

Perhaps it's time for Princess Zelda to take a kickboxing class or two, something that will keep her in shape and away from being kidnapped!
pretty much just a video game thing. And really, how good can that make the real cheerleader bumped from the pages of Playboy in order to include some random fake cheerleader from Midway's Blitz: the League? Here's a perfectly good girl wanting to take her close off for your enjoyment, yet she's denied her chance because men around the world would rather see some virtual girl than the real thing. And you wonder why women think men are the dumber sex.

To make matters worse, some of the women featured in the pictorial will be from Sony's God of War ... a game they were already featured naked in. I would say a major part of the blame goes to the people that chose who would go nude. For the most part you're looking at a lot of large-breasted sexpots that were already good looking in their respective games. But where are the photos of Princess Peach naked? What about Chun Li and Cammy from the Street Fighter series? And maybe it's time we finally find out whether or not that Zelda chick is worth saving!

Playboy magazine has served its purpose over the several decades it has been around. It almost single-handedly started a sexual revolution that improved the life of both men and women. But when you start publishing pictures of naked video game characters you have to just admit that nobody is reading those hard hitting political articles you use to separate the nude ladies. Video games and Playboy don't mix - and if you don't believe me, make sure and check out the god awful Playboy: the Mansion game.
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