That's right ladies and gentlemen, it's Fortified Zone, the one place you've never going to get into. It's been built in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by mountains and protected by these two fools (some shirtless dude and Steve Irwin's widow). The real tragedy would be if they did all this work for nothing, they would look pretty stupid if nobody was really after them and this was the work of pure paranoia. I get it; the news can have that effect on you. There are people even now that watch Fox News and feel like the world is coming to an end, so what they do is build underground bunkers, stockpile food, and collect enough guns to keep them safe in case of an apocalypse. I hear those are the kinds of people that are members of the Sega Club.

But pretend that there really is a problem, that this married couple really does have something to fear and a reason to trap themselves in a fortified zone. What are they afraid of? Why do they look so on edge? How much protection do you get when you're standing out in the middle of nowhere with your shirt off? I guess your enemy isn't cunning enough to get a sniper rifle or attack from above? And even if there is real danger, do you have to stand so close to the camera that we can't even see what's coming after you? This cover says nothing about their worries, yet you can tell that they are on edge and concerned about something. I mean, c'mon, they are even worried about the title of the game ... why else would they put barbwire around it? This isn't the proper way of ending an episode of The Cover Critic, there shouldn't be this many unanswered questions lingering. Ah screw it, I'm just going to say that they are paranoid and watch too much of the Fox News Channel. At least that way I don't care if somebody attacks them and takes their fortified zone.