Were there people clamoring for a third RoboCop game on the Nintendo Entertainment System? Ocean does a bang-up job showing gamers why movie tie-in games are almost always a bad idea. But maybe our trusted critic had a different take? Find out when you read Cyril's full review of RoboCop 3 for the NES!
He said he would be back! Continuing our week-long look at Terminator and RoboCop games, we're bringing you Terminator 2: The Arcade Game. Who knew this Game Gear product could be so much fun? Find out what Cyril thinks when you read his full review of Terminator 2: The Arcade Game for the Sega Game Gear!
Detroit is in trouble and only RoboCop can save the day. This 8-bit Nintendo Entertainment System game has the action down, but can't quite connect with RoboCop's humanity. Also, the bad graphics and crummy gameplay aren't helping. Find out what Cyril thinks when you read his full review of RoboCop for the NES!
Gamers are given a better understanding of Kyle Reese's army days in The Terminator for the Sega CD. Unfairly passed over as just another movie game, Virgin's adaptation goes the distance to be a rock solid Contra clone. Find out what Cyril thinks when you read his full review of The Terminator for the Sega CD!
Before Jill became the master of unlocking there was Edward Carnby, the unlucky hero of Alone in the Dark. Unfortunately, Alone in the Dark: The New Nightmare doesn't hold a candle next to Resident Evil. I am thoroughly impressed with the game's visuals, right down to the creepy figures you only see in the split-second flash of lightning. Sadly, the rest of the game's mechanics hurt the enjoyment a decade later.
The Game & Watch is back with another set of long-forgotten gems from the 1980s. Gallery 2 doesn't quite stack up, which makes it hard to recommend. There's nothing bad about this collection, but it doesn't feel as inspired as other Nintendo releases.
Forget Happy Feet, this penguin doesn't need to sing and dance to be amazing. This Qix clone offers gamers an addictive action/puzzler with a compelling hero and plenty of interesting level designs. But you don't have to take my word for it, read Cyril's full review of Amazing Penguin for the Game Boy!
Dirk the Daring deserves better. After playing through the Xbox Live Arcade port, Cyril decided to give the 8-bit NES version of Dragon's Lair a whirl. What he found was a terrible action game with cheap deaths and non-responsive controls. Find out what Cyril thinks when you read his full review of Dragon's Lair on the Nintendo Entertainment System!
Did you hear that Jackie Chan is done making action movies? To honor the City Hunter's spirit, Cyril has decided to give Jackie Chan's Action Kung Fu a look. What starts as a solid action/platformer is quickly marred by repetitive gameplay and a lack of depth. Find out what Cyril thinks when you read his full review of Jackie Chan's Action Kung Fu for the Nintendo Entertainment System!
With its Don Bluth animations and movie-quality production values, Dragon's Lair is the best looking game of the 1980s. Unfortunately, in order to look so good the game had to make a few sacrifices. As a result we're left with a shallow "action" game that is little more than Simon Says. Not even the gimmicky Kinect support makes this game worth playing more than once!
If you're a fan of Myst and don't mind the pretentious writing and nonsensical puzzles, then this isn't a bad version to have. You can play it on the go, which might be cool? Look, the truth is you shouldn't buy Myst. Go play a real graphic adventure, not this non-game snoozefest. This is your chance to check out the first episode of The Walking Dead or play through Hector. It's time to put Myst out of its misery and admit that no gamer actually likes this garbage!
Could this Nintendo Entertainment System version of Battleship be as bad as the movie? Cyril seems to think so. With no multiplayer mode and a repetitive story mode, Battleship is a mess. Find out what Cyril thinks when you read his full review of Battleship for the NES!
Kirby's Block Ball is every bit as surprising as Donkey Kong. Some may quibble over some outdated physics, but with so much content it's hard to be too critical. Each level is expertly crafted, full of hidden bonuses and interesting power-ups. Nintendo brought a lot of great ideas to the formula, making this the perfect evolution from Breakout. I hate to say it, but Kirby's Block Ball just made Alleyway obsolete!
Is it Ninja Gaiden or Shinobi? It turns out that Wrath of the Black Manta is a little of both! Taito isn't afraid to steal good ideas, turning this 1989 action game into the Frankenstein's Monster of 8-bit ninja games. Find out what Cyril thinks when you read his full review of Wrath of the Black Manta for the Nintendo Entertainment System!
What could have been an interesting idea for a 2D action game is reduced to one of the worst platformers imaginable. Perhaps Darkman is better suited for the cinema than the Nintendo Entertainment System. Find out what Cyril thinks when you read his full review of Darkman for the NES!
Jerry punches a sword-wielding bear in the balls repeatedly to bring you his review of Dragon Power. Based on Dragon Ball, Dragon Power is an NES game with a lot of problems. Traverse the world looking for dragon balls ... er, crystal balls. Find out what Jerry thought of Dragon Power when you watch his full review!
The Hyperstone Heist definitively proves that not every Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles adventure is worth going on. With its mishmash levels, incoherent story and recycled boss encounters, this Genesis exclusive feels exceedingly lazy. Find out what Cyril thinks when you read his full review of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Hyperstone Heist for the Sega Genesis!
As much as I love the Wonder Boy franchise, Monster Land is a tough call. Although this is the best version of Wonder Boy's second installment, the Master System port is also strong enough to stand on its own (and four dollars cheaper). Plus, with Monster World IV hitting the Virtual Console on the same day, it's tough to get too excited about this 8-bit effort. Wonder Boy in Monster Land is a great game that people should definitely play, but it's a toss-up over which version you should buy.
Little Samson was Taito's shot at making a big name platformer for the Nintendo Entertainment System. They failed. Instead we're left with a disappointing action game with frustrating level designs and bad gameplay. Find out what Zach thinks when you read his full review of Little Samson on the NES!
After taking half a year off, Nintendo is on a roll with their Virtual Console releases. Monster World IV is the type of game Nintendo should be releasing on the Wii. Enough with the Street Fighter II re-releases, bring us games that have never come out in the United States. Even with the slightly inflated price tag, Monster World IV is a fantastic game that deserves to be in everybody's library.
Fighting Masters has a good story, interesting characters and a few cool visual effects, yet it fails miserably at being a fighting game. This pre-Street Fighter II brawler has a hard time finding its worth in a post-Street Fighter II world. Find out what Cyril thinks when you read his full review of Fighting Masters for the Sega Genesis!
Have you ever played Trials Evolution and wished it was in black and white? Would you like the game better if it featured microscopic graphics and only eight courses? If so, then Motocross Maniacs is the game for you. Part racing game and part platformer, this early Game Boy game set the bar high for future motorbike games. Find out what Cyril thinks when you read his full review of Motocross Maniacs for the Game Boy!
Insects, bugs and flying meatball sperm? Yeah, Bio-Hazard Battle is that kind of 2D shoot-em-up. Sure it suffers from a lot of the cliches of the genre, but that doesn't stop this Sega shmup from being a well-designed game. Find out what Jerry Terrifying thinks when you read his full review of Bio-Hazard Battle for the Sega Genesis!
Some say it looks like air hockey, but Tom says Shufflepuck Cafe is a "semi 3D Pong clone." No matter what you call it, this Nintendo Entertainment System port is fun. Find out what Tom Lenting thinks of Shufflepuck Cafe (NES) in what will be his very final review on Defunct Games!
Chuck E. Cheese's Arcade Room is a painful collection of four mediocre mini-games and an out of place racer. The dated graphics and questionable design decisions aren't helping anything. With only two easy modes, players will see everything there is to see within a half hour. At least you don't have to eat the pizza!
It's not at the same level as the best of Square, but also not as bad as Beyond the Beyond and other early RPG attempts by Sony. Fans of the genre will enjoy some of the fresh ideas found in Dragoon, even if the story could use some sprucing up.
Ikari III: The Rescue is a great game dogged by the perils of porting to new systems. If you can get past the crummy controls, you'll discover that The Rescue has a lot to offer. The graphics are strong and there's a surprisingly long adventure to be found!
Super Hang-On remains an addictive little racing game, even if there's nothing even remotely realistic about the experience. The game offers an impressive amount of content, not something you often hear me saying about arcade games. Don't let the nine dollar asking price throw you off; Super Hang-On is one of the best Virtual Console games of the year!
Captain America leads some of the Avengers into battle in this disappointing Genesis game. Data East packages in a lot of familiar faces, interesting locations and repetitive gameplay in Captain America and the Avengers. Cyril thinks you should pass and go to the movie instead. Find out what he thinks when you read the full review of Captain America and the Avengers for the Sega Genesis!
Confusion over the name aside, Mortal Kombat on the PS Vita is a must-own for any fighting game fan. Not only does it have all of the amazing content from last year's stellar console release, but it also features substantial new modes that are more than worth the $40 asking price. Without a doubt, this is the definitive version of Mortal Kombat!
Think Iron Man 2 is bad? Wait until you see the short cuts Acclaim had to take in order to port Iron Man/X-O Manowar in Heavy Metal to the Game Boy. This terrible action game pushes Nintendo's handheld to the limit, which isn't saying a whole lot. Find out what Cyril thinks when you read his full review of Iron Man/X-O Manowar in Heavy Metal for the Nintendo Game Boy!
HULK SMASH!! You would think that making a game about an indestructible force with an anger management problem would be simple, but Probe doesn't quite deliver in The Incredible Hulk. Cyril ripped his pants playing through this frustrating game, but it's not because he grew into a Hulk-like monster. Find out what he thought in this review of The Incredible Hulk for the Sega Genesis!
Join Captain America and Hawkeye as they travel across the United States in this generic action game. Captain America and The Avengers tries hard, but it doesn't have what it takes to hold your interest for long. Find out what Cyril thinks when you read his full review of Captain America and The Avengers for the Nintendo Entertainment System!